ennui

Grace sleeping

Perhaps its the inevitable come down after weeks of adrenalin-fuelled survival. Perhaps it's this strange weather - the unsettlingly mild days which caused the magnolia to bloom and the jasmine to blossom in August(!), then the dreary rain.

The dams are at 60%...

Mostly it's the tendrils of the lurgy that felled our family, one by one, me last and hardest. The aches and chills have gone, but the woollen head and hacking cough have brought a fatigue that has settled on me. I'm dozing mid morning. Answering questions and cutting up apples half asleep. I haven't been present in the house, really, properly, for a month or more. I'm willing myself to attend, to get on with it, but I am tired.

Grace, sleeping, grows younger. She soaks me up at night, those absent bits of me. That seems enough for her, for now.